Thursday, 16 August 2012

Album Review: Arcesia – Reachin'


The Millennium Falcon is lost. It drifts blindly into a glittery pink space cloud with unusual properties. The smell of cat urine on a hot leather handbag seeps in through the life support system. The crew get space-drunk and start behaving strangely. Chewbacca believes the ship is spinning out of control and makes his noise. Han Solo thinks he hears mynocks sucking on the outer hull and skips out the airlock with his laser pistol drawn, laughing and taking pot shots at the brightest stars. Lando Calrissan keeps repeating, 'help me Obi-Wan Kenobi,' as he swats at invisible flying objects that seem to be harassing him like mosquitoes. C3PO becomes impenetrably depressed and finally hangs himself on an exposed electrical wire dangling from the ceiling. R2D2 wheels up to a viewing port. His little red light becomes bright; his eye focuses and refocuses on the starfield as it rolls past the window.
     R2D2 sees a psychedelic vortex of bright and colourful lights twisting and knitting together off into eternity. He chirps in amazement. Creamy salmon-coloured sci-fi liquid drips from his undercarriage. It is more viscous than water.
     He detects a vibration resonating in the hull. A hatch on his head flops open and a little blue telescopic microphone extends up through the gap. The vibrations are amplified and resolved into audible sound. R2D2 interfaces with a computer console and patches it through through to the Millennium Falcon's speaker system. It's the music of Arcesia. Princess Leia is taken by the music. She puts on her gold bikini and starts dancing in front of a the Millennium Falcon's built-in webcam. It's low resolution and the refresh rate is poor, but she gets a lot of tips.
     Luke Skywalker laps up the viscous liquid that dripped from R2D2's undercarriage, truly believing it to be 'the force'.
     R2D2 goes back to the window to watch the mesmerising vortex outside. The music continues to play over the speakers. He beeps to C3PO – 'haaaay, this is a brilliant album, C3P0.' But C3P0 is swinging from the ceiling. Dead.

I like the album a lot R2D-TOO. HAHAHH. And the singer, John Anthony Arcesi, is an interesting person: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Arcesia

HAHAHAHHA.

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